Tuesday, February 27, 2007

My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away.
Jenny McCarthy

A few days ago, my soon-to-be-ex wife & I were discussing the possibilities of dating other people. She is interested in getting out there & meeting people, and that's OK. She told me of what she was looking for and again, that's OK. My mind started working... What would I look for, should I ever date? Let's see...
  • A slim, sleek body.
  • All of her parts must be in wonderful condition, but original parts not necessary.
  • A tight fit.
  • Age doesn't matter.
  • Fast, but not dangerously so.
  • Tattoos are good.
  • Responsive to my slightest touch.
  • Body modifications are fine, if not overdone.
  • Not be jealous or upset if I hop in with another.

My potential date must be able to...

  • Handle the bumps well.
  • Pull me back into the seat when things start to go fast.
  • Go her own with no input from me.
  • Take two if necessary.
  • Go non-stop for hours.
  • Let me touch-up her slight blemishes.
  • Let me give her a complete overhaul.
  • Catch us both when we start falling.

I will never...

  • Take her in the rain unless necessary.
  • Fail to care for her.
  • Give her an inexpensive meal.
  • Just let her sit all night after a long, hard day.
... Yes ... I want a plane ... baby ...


ilish said...

LOL...SEE? i thought i knew you and there was this very odd desciption of what i was not sure. Your post made me doubt that i knew you! HA!

Yes a Plane!

HAHA...ya scared me. but scare easily!


RazorsEdge2112 said...

hahaha Ilish!

I used to have a notice on my blog to NOT post while toasty. I sort-of violated it that night! HAHA

STBX was talking about dating other people and I was drinking, thinking about the same thing. She went to sleep & I went in the computer room and started reading my airplane catalogs and magazines and drinking some more.

Then I started surfing the web... and drinking some more... It was a giddy, smiling, funny kind-of drunk. And I just thought of this post. I seem to remember laughing the whole time I was posting it.

Didn't mean to scare ya!