Thursday, September 13, 2007

Thrash – Definition: To move wildly or violently, without accomplishing anything useful. Paging or swapping systems that are overloaded waste most of their time moving data into and out of core (rather than performing useful computation) and are therefore said to thrash.

Someone who keeps changing his mind (especially about what to work on next) is said to be thrashing. A person frantically trying to execute too many tasks at once (and not spending enough time on any single task) may also be described as thrashing. (Free On-line Dictionary of Computing) Definition of Thrashing.
Thrashing and procrastination have been a monkey on my back for years. I start something and then move on to something else before I finish the first. Why? Am I impatient with myself? Do I have a short attention span? Is there some ethereal, unrecognizable fear of me actually accomplishing something?

To be honest, I have asked this question for years and not once have I struck an answer. Maybe, just maybe there is no answer. It just IS.

Fine. I am through analyzing and measuring and wondering. Time to change. Time to stop thrashing and get down to business.

I am going to be open an honest here; I have a goal; I have one large personal thing in my mind now that is important. I want to live in the country and participate in the agricultural life again. If this means starting out on an acre in a travel trailer with a large garden, so be it. Living in a barn while I remodel it into a residence? You bet.

This is not to state I am going to be single-minded. I will absolutely work to help my daughter through college. I will pay off the bills after the divorce. I will help my friends when they need assistance.

What about those other things I want to do? What about writing? What about flying and that plane I want to build? What about ham radio? What about traveling the country, maybe even the world to visit my friends? What about that motorcycle?

All in due time. I will get to them.

To that end, I have started another blog: To Farm Again . I will post there regularly, even if some posts may seem small or insignificant. As for this blog, I will probably post rarely or irregularly; so, really, no change here (LOL).


Anonymous said...

I understand so many of the things you posted here. I have gone from project to project, yet never had the support, the opportunity, perhaps the guts to see it through. My problem is that dream is not really coherent, yes, even with all that I am doing and pursuing. I have always wanted to be a writer. Now I do not know. But I want to point one thing out to are already a writer- here you are.... sharing with others, leaving your mark on the world. So you are really accomplishing that goal. I think it's great that you want to pursue your goal again! I wish you great success. I think you are really going places, and you are really thinking it out (I read your other blog as well). Good luck! I wish you well!

RazorsEdge2112 said...

Thank you so much for your kind words, Schwinn!

Something I think I have learned is that for me, in order for me to pursue something, the dream doesn't need to be coherent. Previously I would plan and fret and calculate and when a roadblock came up, I would just stop.

Over the course of the last several months I have been just heading the general direction of my dreams. My plan is simple... Make the plan as I move along.

I think that for myself, if I hold short of take off before my flight plan is completely finalized, my plane will simply run out of gas without ever being airborne.