Monday, November 03, 2008

A Sad Day for the Emotionaly and Verbaly Abused

Yes, this is a sad day. Due to the actions of the administration on , I can no longer promote nor recommend that site.

Several associates of mine were banned from that site recently. I have had close friends and even family banned from sites before, but not this site. This site was special.

Last night I wrote a scathing letter to the administration of that site, but decided to do what was prudent in these situations; let it rest; think it over; step back to a distance where there is some objectivity.

I did, and decided early this morning to save my comments in the Never Sent folder on my laptop. The events of this morning on that website went far beyond what my saved comments could even touch.

You see, the operator of this site posted an email from a disgruntled site member. That is not the heinous part. You may or may not know, but people in abusive situations rely on anonymity to receive help. This is their buffer zone; their full face helmet and Kevlar, if you will.

Security, privacy and anonymity is a key aspect to an abused person asking for and receiving help. It not only provides peace of mind, but also protects the abused from the abuser, should the abuser try to stalk them. In some sad situations, this anonymity is the only thing that protects the abused from bodily harm.

Along with the e-mail, the operator posted the author's full name, private e-mail address AND referred to the author using their PRIVATE, ANONYMOUS username. Then, the operator made a remark about the author's peers seeing what she had written.

That was it for me. I wish them well, but can no longer recommend that site.

The things I write about, above, are not conjecture, word of mouth, or rumor. It is true. It is sad. I saved the pages. If you are in an abusive situation, please Google "Verbal abuse", "Emotional Abuse" or "Physical Abuse." I am currently working on a resource page to share.

Ride safe, all.


RazorsEdge2112 said...

Anyone choosing to comment here has all rights and responsibilities for their own words. I will not delete, edit or otherwise modify a comment. Speak your mind anonymously if you like. It is secure here.


Anonymous said...

I agree it was heartbreaking, and I sat there shocked and dismayed. I'm STILL spinning from it!

RazorsEdge2112 said...

It was bad enough that she posted the letter, but to violate a certain trust? In my opinion, it is unacceptable.

Jacky Hughes said...

To do that to someone abused and therefore possibly put them in danger from an abuser - to publicly without any knowledge of danger the abused person might be in, give information that might subject them to abuse, whatever the reason, is beyond belief and contempt.

To show personal anger and take issues with hurting people is not a good thing and nobody should, in my view, own a message board for hurting people and be unaware of its own rules or claim to be above them.

If rules are made, then a responsible message board owner should, in my opinion, know about them. That is certainly the way I would personally want to operate. Nor do I think it at all appropriate to impose political views on hurting and vulnerable people when they are talking about abuse. Share, yes,impose in a way that might offend others, no.

I am also withdrawing any support for www.drirene from any of my own sites and work - including the book on abuse I am writing.

I was banned from there as an admin some years ago and the reasons were very similar to now. I had apparently stopped following the vision of the Catbox and Irene's views....I acted as Board Pastor. I was told to 'take my flock and park it!'

The really sad thing is that I have met this lady and stayed with her. I had a wonderful time and met a wonderful lady. I do feel so sad at what has happened since.

The actions since do not tie up with the person I met. They did not tie up for me personally, or with the current actions.

I would love to meet with Irene or email her and talk, but my guess is that she would not, at this point, be able to hear what is being said in any way helpful to the situation. I will do the only thing I can, and to pray for her and all those involved

Minister Jacky ( Previously Jay, Board Pastor for the Catbox and now owner of