Death of a Euphamism

That's it! I Quit!

Quit what? Using a certain euphemism. Why? It simply is not true.

How many times have I told people to follow their own path? Ride their own ride? When the path ends, get out your machete and make your own? Your way is your way, regardless of what others say?

Yet, there is this euphemism that I still use regarding my life. "I have no life."

This started sometime in the dark times, nearly five years ago. Somehow I became involved in a conversation about hobbies and non-work activities with a few people at work. Some rode mini bikes in the desert, some went out with their significant others, some spent time on Lake Mead, many watched television, some played cards, some gambled, some enjoyed the Las Vegas night life, some enjoyed strip clubs. After admitting that I did none of those things, someone laughed, "Ha! You have on life."

Me? When I wasn't trying to muddle through a failing relationship and taking care of my daughter, I read or drank beer. You have no life, really sank in.

About a year ago a fellow asked if I were dating. "No," I replied. "I have no life." It was sticking. After that, when people asked if I were dating, the reply was "No, I have no life." It became a stock answer to questions like, "Do you watch sports? Have you been down to Lake Mead lately? Want to go out for a bit to eat after work? Did you see the last episode of Survivor?"

The list could go on, but I digress.

Six months or so ago a lady I know and myself were discussing our plans for the weekend. She was going to clean house, do some reading and maybe go out for a beer. Me? Not much. Ride down to the Boulder Dam, then around some old access roads to the Colorado River, then up for a quiet lunch at an outside cafe in Boulder City, then over to the airport for some flight training and then maybe a ride down to Searchlight or maybe even up to Mt. Charleston. Finish off the weekend by doing some wrenching and studying my flight training books.

"Damn, Ken! You are always doing exciting things!"

Nah, I just have no life. Sorry about that... I just locked up the brakes.

I see now. That euphemism is patently untrue. If anyone hears me utter these words, please squirt me with some motor oil or thwack me with a rubber band. :-D I Got a Life!